Irrational
A downloadable game for Windows
Summary
Irrational is a grounded story told through the mind of Lucy, in a captivating visual novel that delves into the struggles of living with generalized anxiety.
Traversing the labyrinth of one's own thoughts, and trying to find a way to live with such a scary mental disorder.
In this narrative, players step into the shoes of Lucy, a young woman plagued by paralyzing thoughts and irrational fears that hinder her daily life.
As players navigate Lucy's mind, they will witness the relentless struggle to maintain a sense of normalcy while battling anxiety's grip. Each step Lucy takes is fraught with uncertainty, as she fears triggering a debilitating panic attack that could further damage her fragile mental well-being.
Throughout her journey, Lucy finds solace in the presence of her supportive yet puzzled roommate. Together, they attempt to unravel the complexities of anxiety and navigate the delicate balance between offering understanding and assistance. The narrative highlights the struggles that comes with empathy and explores the challenges faced by both those with anxiety and their loved ones trying to help.
Game Jam
This game was originally submitted to the "2nd RPG Maker GOTM Jam", when it was still in it's early stages.
I am very happy to say that it achieved the #1 rank in the following categories:
- Judge's Choice
- Gamer's Choice
- Host Choice
- Special Theme: Sad and Emotional
Submission quotes:
"I absolutely LOVED the dialogue! Masterfully crafted!
- The graphics are very pleasant to look at. And the visual storytelling you've done in this game at times, is absolutely brilliant!"
"This game is astonishing, and great storytelling about a girl who suffers from anxiety."
"That was some really solid storytelling. A lot of mature discussion of some really misunderstood mental health issues. Captured so much of that despair and hopelessness that people with anxiety related issues go through, as well as the impact it can have on people around them."
Content warning
- Occasional swearing.
- Display and mentions of potentially uncomfortable subjects, such as anxiety and panic attacks.
- Mild blood.
Contact
You can contact me and get updates on twitter: 
Or send me an email: m.a.starling@hotmail.com
Don’t hesitate to write a comment below if you have feedback of any kind.
COMMENTS CONTAIN SPOILERS
Purchase
In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $2.99 USD. You will get access to the following files:
Development log
- Major Update 7/7/23Jul 07, 2023
- Minor Update 4Aug 14, 2020
- Irrational - Now available for Linux!Aug 03, 2020
- Minor Update (YouTube Edition)Jun 29, 2020
- Major Update!May 26, 2020
- Not-so-minor update!Feb 13, 2020
- Minor Update 3Dec 06, 2019
- Minor Update 2Nov 24, 2019
Comments
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This game is more of a visual novel, but regardless, the fantastic depiction of mental illness HURTS from how accurate it is. And all the detail in the art was a great bonus!
SPOILERS!!!
Today I remembered a scene from your game, the scene where I got choice to either say goodbye to my friend or to see my dying cat one last time. And I cried. And then I felt a relief.
For comparison, just another day I gave up reading a novel, at the spot where the main heroine was about to get raped, with feeling "I just don't care about what happens to this woman".
Your piece of fiction clearly carved out place in my heart and memory. At the very least this particular scene. Thank you again for your mastery, that you managed to create such powerful scene!
Just that the story had any sort of impact is a great honour, so I really do appreciate your nice comment.
And also thanks for your past help and support - you've been very kind.
I wish you the best!
I live with service-related PTSD and depression and this really hits home with me
I don't regret time spent on playing the game, but I wouldn't really call this "story". More like experience about friendship, acute anxiety and grief. It builds up drama, reaches point "hero's darkest hour", but then completely skips part about how the hero of the story overcame their darkest hour, making it a non-story in my eyes. If I wanted to turn it into a story with minimal efforts, then I would just replace the happy ending on Lucy commiting a suicide. It would be a tragic story, but a story.
Hi again!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I completely understand what you're saying in regards to skipping a chunk of what could feel like the most important part of the story.
My thought process was, however, that where we cut to after the "darkest hour"— Lucy meeting with friends- is not the end-goal - is not her being finished with the mental healing, but is still very much during the process of learning to live with her anxiety and "overcoming her darkest hour". Which is also what I attempted to highlight with the ending. That anxiety doesn't disappear when you've done all the correct things, but rather, that you learn to adapt and get to know your fears better so the struggle fills less in your life, thus allowing you to enjoy it more.
So, to some extent, I very much agree that this is sort of a "non-story". It's about the process. Not the beginning and the end, since I personally feel like anxiety is more equivocal than that.
But these are my thoughts and certainly not me trying to diminish your feelings about the story. I will take your comment into consideration for future stories, as I do believe you make a valid point. If I were to make the story longer in the future, I will certainly attempt to show more of Lucy's process to overcome these hard-hitting struggles, as this is an important part of the story.
Also, ending the game with the main-character dying would certainly make it more of a traditional story but would very much go against the message I attempted to convey.
Regardless, thanks for playing the game and for the comment. I hope it was okay that I shared my thoughts as well. It was simply to explain my decisions, regardless of if they were bad or good :)
Please, make Linux version. It shouldn't be hard considering that you use RPG Maker MV
Hello. I have considered making the game available for other platforms but I've only been able to playtest the game on Windows so far and therefore been hesitant uploading a build for Mac and Linux.
I'll look into finding someone to help me with playtesting on other platforms and if I'm successful, I will definitely be making a Linux version.
If you make a Linux build I agree to play through it
If you're willing to play through it on Linux and report back any potential bugs and errors you may find and where you found them, then I will gladly accept the help.
My mail is under the "Contact" section on the game page. Feel free to send me an email and I'll get around to sending you a Linux build.
Thanks for the kind offer.
i have anxiety, do you think that the game can be a trigger or its safe to play? Your game sounds really interesting, but, you know...
It's difficult for me to say.
This game was not designed to trigger anyone in any way. It is not a scary game- mostly a quite calm one actually- but anxiety is a subject throughout and will be discussed and shown in a grounded way. There are some rough scenes that, for example, shows the peak of anxiety, i.e. panic attacks and the sensation is talked about through dialogue.
Which means that there are times where it is highlighted how awful anxiety can be.
With that being said, the goal of the game is not to show that having anxiety means life is constantly horrible. Quite the contrary, it's about how a life with anxiety is still a life. With its ups-and-downs. Sadness, happiness, and growth.
So, the game is not meant to be scary or triggering but there are some potentially distressing scenes.
The game only moves forward if you press a button, barring a few short cut-scenes, as it is a visual novel. You can exit to the title at any time when the text box is shown. (Which is quite often).
I hope my answer makes sense and sorry that I couldn't just say "Yes" or "No".
If you're still uncertain, you can always send me a mail or contact me on Twitter.
I wish you the best :)
Oops I meant to send you this before:
Hope you enjoy!I absolutely did!
I left a comment on the video itself, but thanks a lot for taking the time to make this video and sharing your thoughts. Loved it!
I really liked the game, despite only have one instant where you control the character. The story felt grounded realistic almost as if you know what its like to go through it. The audio was masterfully used in this game especially the song selection and the ambient noise you would hear. I was also rooting for Lucy and Firky together, they made such a nice couple. It was a nice story despite a few grammarical errors on a rare occassion, but that didn't detract from the experience.
I also noticed this was a game jam game so I respect the amount of care you put into this game despite the time limit. I also made a game jam game about now running from your problems as opposed to living with anxiety. Although I can tell you handled your topic more maturely. If you are interesting in checking my game jam game here's a link to it: https://kazuki-t126.itch.io/the-hearts-fallacy
Thank you very much for the kind words. I'm glad that you enjoyed the game. And Lucy and Firky would make a nice couple, yeah. I really want to develop their relationship further in the future, when I find the time.
(I swear, I've gone back and fixed grammatical issues a dozen times but it's like new ones just pop up. Glad it wasn't a bother.)
I've added your game to my collection, so I will be sure to give a try soon. It looks very interesting :)
Thanks again for the comment! Sorry for taking a while to get back to you.
pretty/great:)
Wow, hey, what's this? A video!
That's awesome. Thanks a lot for doing that and for playing :D
This game is wonderful! Well done, interesting and addictive story, cute graphic and that ending made me cry, literally T.T But, while playing this game i was hoping that they'll be together (sorry for that).
The message in this game is beautiful and touching, I definitely will play this game again if there would be more endings (idk if this is possible, i just want to tell that this is really amazing game and I would definitely play more games like this)
Really appreciate your wonderful comment! I'm glad that you had a positive experience with the story.
And don't be sorry. The relationship between Lucy and Firky is a big part of the story and it's something I actually want to go deeper into, if I were to develop another game featuring those two.
I don't have plans to make any major updates to this game, such as new endings, but again, I do have some ideas for future games.
Thank you for giving my game a shot and leaving a comment. It's great support! :)